


The Other Side of the Stars

by Cartecka



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 21:07:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12218982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cartecka/pseuds/Cartecka
Summary: Alex goes missing and Maggie and Kara have to cope.Kind of a character study. How I think they would deal with it. J'onn is there too for a bit.





	The Other Side of the Stars

Maggie hasn’t slept in three days. She hadn’t left the DEO, had only eaten when J’onn put food down in front of her. She hadn’t really been able to taste it, doesn’t remember what it was. She’d just shoveled it into her mouth out of habit and when the plate had been emptied, J’onn had handed her a water bottle and just said 'drink'. She had, she thinks. To be honest, she doesn’t remember.

She’s on the verge of hallucinating when J’onn kicks her out, the words on the screen in front of her blurring and moving and not making any sense at all. She thinks it’s English until Winn points out that it’s clearly Kryptonian, the alphabet showing little similarities, and that’s the last straw.

“Detective,” J’onn says with that soft kind of sternness that leaves little room for argument. “If you can’t even recognize the Latin alphabet anymore, I think it’s time you get some sleep. I don’t want to see you back here until you can say your ABC’s in the right order.”

Maggie blinks at him three times before his words settle enough for her to compute.

“You’ll keep looking?” she asks.

“Of course. We won’t stop until we find her.”

Agent Vasquez offers her a ride home and Maggie gratefully accepts. It’s too quiet in the car though. The DEO had been louder, busy enough that Maggie could push all of those intrusive little thoughts out of her head. What if we can’t find her? What if we don’t get her back? What if… what if it’s already too late? They’re halfway into the city when Maggie tells Vasquez take her somewhere else.

Vasquez drops her off at Alex’s without question and tells her to call if she needs anything. Maggie barely hears her. She flips through the keys on her keychain until she finds the one with the half-faded heart on the head, drawn there somewhat as a joke but mostly seriously when Alex had given Maggie the key. Now Maggie presses her finger onto the head bites back a sob. She jams the key into the lock and opens the door quickly, stuffing the keychain deep into her pocket so that she doesn’t have to look at it anymore (it’s much harder to stop thinking about it).

She doesn’t bother switching on the lights. She knows the apartment well enough and there’s enough moonlight flooding through windows for her to see. The darkness provides some comfort, allows Maggie to pretend that the rest of the world doesn’t exist, that she doesn’t exist. It lets her know that if she were to cry now, no one would see. She doesn’t though. She too tired, too drained to do anything other than stumble towards the bed.

When a dark mass shifts on the bed at her approach, Maggie’s heart leaps into her throat, first in surprise and fear, and then with hope. Maybe she’s back. Maybe she’s okay. Maybe this has all been a bad dream. But as the figure sits up Maggie knows who it is instantly and it’s not Alex. Her shoulders are too broad and her hair is too light and too long.

“Kara,” she breathes out. The question what are you doing here? doesn’t quite make it out of her mouth but Kara hears it anyway.

“It smells like her.”

Kara sounds about as broken as Maggie feels. Maggie blinks and she sees Kara from earlier that day on the back of her eyelids, eyebrows drawn together tight and angry, fists curled, ready to punch, to fight, if only they’d give her a target. But the DEO hadn’t been able to find anything. And then she’d flown. Maggie had watched the screen with Supergirl’s GPS tracker as it flew in loops around the city starting on the outside and getting smaller and smaller towards the center of the city. And when that had yielded no results, she’d pushed out into the desert. Maggie thinks she remembers Winn saying she’d covered a land area of over 30,000 square miles before J’onn had benched her.

“You’re not helping anyone by flying yourself into the ground Supergirl. Go home and rest. We’ll probably need you refreshed the moment we find her. I’ll call you, I promise.”

It had done the trick and Maggie hadn’t heard from Kara in hours. She should have guessed that this is where she’d be.

Maggie doesn’t say anything to her and instead kicks off her boots and jacket. She peels off her jeans and roots through Alex’s dresser until she finds a pair of sweatpants. She pauses, debating for a second and then yanks off her shirt as well, finding one of Alex’s that is big and soft and smells like her. Kara makes room for her on the bed without hesitation.

Maggie is glad she’s here. She’s never been great at sleeping alone and she can’t imagine trying to now, as all the little voices telling her how this could go wrong clamor to be heard. So it’s nice that Kara is here, her body a warm and comforting presence just out of reach. It’s incredible to think about how important Alex is, how much would fall apart if…

The silence in the apartment is broken as Kara sobs. Maggie sees her shoulders trembling slightly, silhouetted by the city lights from the windows. Maggie’s never had a sister, or a brother either. She’s not sure what she’s supposed to do so she just follows her instincts. She reaches out, shifting and moving until she can pull Kara into her. Kara is much taller than her, and bigger and it fits a little wrong. She’s not the person she’s used to holding at night.

But in Alex’s absence, she might be the next best thing. She’s warm and solid where she lies and Maggie places her hands on the backs of her shoulders. She feels strong even like this, trying to hold her tears in and hold herself together. Maggie holds onto her for dear life.

“We’ll get her back,” she whispers. “We will.”

Kara doesn’t answer but her fingers curl into Alex’s t-shirt and she presses her face into Maggie’s shoulder. She cries until she’s exhausted. Maggie listens until Kara’s breath hits a rhythm, her body relaxing. Maggie tilts her head and presses a kiss into Kara’s forehead. Eventually, she falls asleep to the rise and fall of her chest and the hope that things will be better in the morning.

 

* * *

 

Maggie wakes up and notices three things simultaneously. The first is that she has not gotten enough sleep. She’s still exhausted and she wants nothing more than to roll over and go back to sleep. The second is that there is this loud, piercing ringing coming from across the room, probably what woke her up. And third, there is something warm and heavy (and comforting) lying on top of her… and then there isn’t. The warmth and the weight vanish and an instant later the ringing stops.

“Hello? J’onn?”

It’s Kara’s voice… why is Kara in Alex’s apartment?

Suddenly everything comes flooding back. Alex. Missing. Kara. Maggie shoots up so quickly her head spins. She grasps at the sheets to make sure she doesn’t pass out and focuses her eyes on Kara. She watches, eyes darting across Kara’s features, trying to remember everything she knows about body language. But for once in her life, and at the most inconvenient time, Kara’s usually expressive face is nearly impossible to read. Other than her eyebrows cinched together in concentration, Kara is exhibiting no clues as to what is being said on the other end of the phone.

“Okay, I understand. I’ll go there right away.”

In a blur, Kara is out of her pajamas and into the familiar red and blue suit. She looks at Maggie for a second, as if surprised to see her, and then she flounders.

“I can’t… Maggie, I have to go. They found Alex and I…”

“Go!” Maggie says, waving her off.

If Alex needs Supergirl, Maggie sure as hell isn’t going to hold her back. Kara jumps out the window without a second thought. Maggie waits for a bit and each second that passes she finds herself getting angrier. Does she not deserve a phone call too? Kara may be her sister, but Maggie is her girlfriend. Maggie loves her and they know that and the should have called. Eventually, she gets tired of waiting and she pulls on her clothes from the night before, and hails a cab to the DEO.

When she arrives, J’onn must read her mind, or at least be able to feel the angry psychic waves she is trying to send his way because he immediately looks apologetic. He doesn’t apologize though, and instead simply updates Maggie on the situation.

“Winn hacked into Cadmus and it took a while to sift through all the information but he was able to locate where Alex is supposedly being held. Supergirl is on her way currently. We’re just waiting for visual confirmation.”

Maggie grips onto the edge of the console so strongly she wonders if she could dent it. It’s the only thing stopping her from running out of the DEO and getting visual confirmation herself. Maggie would give anything to not have to just wait. She forces herself to breathe, using the calming techniques her partner had taught her when she’d just gotten promoted to detective.

“There are times when you will need a clear head, Sawyer,” she’d said. “Not for the sake of the criminals you’re after. For your sake. You’ve got a big heart and sometimes you feel so much you could drown in it.”

It had taken Maggie a long time to figure out exactly what she’d meant. She feels it now, the way everything she’s feeling threatens to overwhelm her. So she breathes. In and out. Easy, simple… Kara’s voice crackles over the comms.

“I’ve got her J’onn. I’m on my way back. Have a room in the med bay ready.”

“You got it Supergirl,” J’onn says and he nods pointedly at an agent who scampers off to fix up a room.

“Kara?” Maggie says and she hates how her voice cracks. No one could blame her though. “Is she okay?”

Kara is silent for so long Maggie wonders if she turned her comms off or if she didn’t hear her.

“She’s… alive,” Kara says.

Maggie doesn’t like the sound of that. Doesn’t like how it feels like there should be a ‘but’ coming after. Doesn’t like that it sounds like alive is somehow a technicality. This time, when her fingers tighten on the console (she hadn’t thought she could hold on any tighter), J’onn reaches over and gently places his hand over them until she loosens her grip.

“She’ll be okay,” he says softly, but it doesn’t sound like the promise Maggie wants it to be.

She watches Supergirl’s tracker on the screen in front of her and when it arrives at the DEO she spins around. Kara lands but doesn’t pause, dashing past her and J’onn in the direction of the med bay. Maggie fights a wave of irritation but it’s quickly eclipsed by a tsunami of worry. She and J’onn jog after Supergirl to find her laying Alex down on one of the beds. Dr. Hamilton is already leaning over her.

The first thing Maggie notices is that Alex’s skin is red and raw all over as if someone had taken sandpaper to it. Dr. Hamilton checks for vitals and starts hooking Alex up to all sorts of machines.

“What’s going on?” Maggie asks.

“It seems like some sort of reaction to... something… I’ve never seen anything like it before but it’s messing with her nervous system. All of my readings are off the charts. Functionally, she’s in a coma.”

“Can you stop it?” J’onn asks.

“I won’t know until I do more tests. Please, I’m going to have to ask you all to give me and my staff some space.”

Kara’s hands clench into fists immediately but J’onn puts a strong hand on her shoulder and pushes her back, effectively forcing her out of the room. J’onn glances at Maggie pointedly as he passes. It’s clear what he means. She has to follow. And she will… it’s just….

“I love you Alex,” she whispers reaching out to touch her hand.

“I wouldn’t touch her if I were you,” Dr. Hamilton says. “We still haven’t identified-“

“I understand,” Maggie says, cutting her off. “Take care of her for me.”

“Of course.”

 

* * *

 

Kara falls asleep on her shoulder against her will. They’re both sitting out in the hallway outside the room where Alex is being cared for and Maggie has lost all feeling in her lower limbs but she doesn’t really care. Kara had been slumping and jerking back up for the last fifteen minutes but now she seems to be out for real. Her forehead rests heavily against Maggie’s shoulder and her hair cascades down tickling her forearms. Maggie barely feels it.

She wants to sleep too. She can feel it in the way her eyelids feel weighted and everything is blurred. It’s been six hours they were kicked out. It’s been four since Dr. Hamilton stepped out only to return minutes later in a full hazmat suit and smelling strongly of unidentifiable chemicals. For a while, sounds had come from the room every once in a while, that had made Maggie’s heart leap into her chest. The beeping of monitors, frantic voices as Dr. Hamilton ordered around the rest of the medicals staff. It’s quiet now though. A few of the support staff had left but Dr. Hamilton is still in there and Maggie just wants to know what’s going on.

A quiet whimper draws her attention and it takes Maggie’s overtired brain a moment to connect it to Kara. Maggie glances down at her and notices with a jolt that there are tears running down Kara’s face. Maggie reaches over to her to go to wake her but she doesn’t even touch her before Kara is jolting away, a look of utter devastation painted across her features.

“Kara,” Maggie says softly.

There’s something very disconcerting about seeing Kara in her full Supergirl uniform kneeling on the ground, her head in her hands and tears streaming down her face. She looks positively broken and Maggie isn’t sure how she’s supposed to build up a superhero, how she’s supposed to fix the Girl of Steel.

Luckily, she doesn’t have to. J’onn appears then, rounding the corner with a dark expression on his face. He kneels next to Kara, putting his hands on her shoulders comfortingly and mutters some words to her that Maggie doesn’t understand. Whatever he says seems to calm Kara somewhat and she stands shakily.

“Go,” he says softly, and Kara stumbles away down the hall.

Maggie watches Kara go, more confused than anything else. Maggie is no stranger to nightmares but this seems like something else entirely. Maggie catches J’onn’s eye curiously and he furrows his brow.

“Will she be okay?” Maggie asks.

“Eventually,” J’onn replies gruffly. “She… has never dealt well with losing people.”

Maggie nods. That makes sense she supposes.

“I get nightmares too,” Maggie replies. “I understand.”

J’onn frowns.

“No, you couldn’t,” he replies. “Only a few can.”

“What do you mean?” Maggie asks, somewhat frustrated.

She knows what it’s like to lose people. She knows waking up in the middle of the night to their faces imprinted on the back of her eyelids. She knows. Where the hell does J’onn get off telling her she couldn’t never understand? J’onn looks at her and Maggie knows without having to really think about it that he’s reading her mind. She wonders what he finds because he sighs heavily and then sits down next to her.

“Do you know Kara’s story?” he asks. “Or rather, Supergirl’s?”

“Yeah. Her planet was destroyed or something and she came to earth with her cousin, right?”

J’onn nods.

“That’s the general idea of it. It’s a little more complicated than that, though. Superman never knew Krypton. He was a baby when he landed on earth. But Kara got stuck in the phantom zone, an area in space where time doesn’t pass, for a long time before arriving on earth which is why she looks younger than him.”

Maggie nods, unsure of why J’onn is telling her this.

“Do you know how old Kara was when she landed on Earth? When the Danvers took her in?”

“I don’t know… Eleven? Twelve?”

“Twelve,” J’onn confirms. “She was twelve when she landed on Earth. And she was twelve when her parents put her in a pod to escape a dying planet. She lived that moment in darkness for twenty-four years.”

And then it hits her. What she’d known technically but had never really pieced together. She feels the blood rush out of her cheeks and fights a wave of nausea.

“She watched her world burn when she was twelve?” she chokes out.

J’onn nods somberly and Maggie shakes her head in disbelief. She tries to imagine it. She’d thought her world had crumbled when she was fourteen, when she’d come home one day to packed bags and stony silence from her parents, when she’d begged and pleaded and cried and had been met with a cold shoulder. But she’d had an Aunt who took her in and cared for her. And some of her friends from school were still supportive and kind. And while Blue Springs, Nebraska may not have been anything to write home about, at least she had the comfort of familiarity throughout it all.

She knew. She knew that Kara’s planet had been destroyed. She knew that she’d gone to live with the Danvers young. But the gravity of it hadn’t quite settled. The fact that Kara had lost her whole planet (not just the planet itself, but her family, her friends, her language, her culture, everything) when she would have been in middle school. If she thinks about it now, she finds that the signs were all there. There was a sadness behind her eyes that never quite seemed to go away even when Kara was at her happiest. The way Kara gravitated towards people who had lost, people who understood, at least a little bit.

“Do you know the story of how the Danvers took her in?” J’onn asks.

She’d gotten vague details from Alex, but hadn’t really been too concerned with it. She wishes now that she’d thought to ask more.

“Yeah, I mean, the Danvers were friends of Superman right? Like they’d worked with him? And when she landed, they took her in as a favor right?”

J’onn nods.

“She was twelve when she landed,” J’onn says, “Superman was barely out of his teens and he couldn’t take care of her. So he contacted the Danvers who had helped him understand his powers and who were the most equipped to take care of her. It helped that they already had a teenage daughter so Kara at least would have a friend.”

Maggie doesn’t say anything after J’onn pauses. She gets the feeling he has more he needs to say and Maggie is still reeling a little bit.

“It must have been hard,” J’onn continues. “Not just for Kara, but for the Danvers. She needed to be taught a lot. How to use a toaster. How the knobs in the shower worked. What foods were meant for breakfast, which ones for dinner. She learned the language quickly. She’s incredibly intelligent. But learning twelve years worth of customs and mannerisms and just basic life skills took a little longer. And she was doing this all while coping with the loss of her planet. But they were kind to her. They made her feel at home and safe and as happy as she could feel at that time. That’s what she owes to the Danvers. That’s what she owes to _Alex_. Losing her would be like… losing her planet all over again.”

Maggie glances off into the direction that Kara walked off and she doesn’t know what she’s supposed to do with this information.

“I’m not telling you this because I want you to think that her pain and sadness and fear is more valid or more potent that yours right now. You both love Alex and you both stand to lose a lot if something happens in there. I’m just telling you so that you can understand.”

J’onn was right, Maggie thinks. She’s not sure she could ever understand. Not really. But she thinks maybe she understands better now than she did before.

“What did you say to her?” she asks J’onn.

J’onn doesn’t answer at first, instead pushing himself back up to standing and holding out a hand to help her up. His palm is warm and smooth and immensely comforting.

“I told her to let herself be angry.”

“What does that mean?” Maggie asks.

But J’onn just looks at her significantly and walks off.

 

* * *

 

Maggie finds Kara in one of the training rooms slamming her fists over and over into what looks like a block of titanium but may as well be play-dough under Kara’s hands. The room rings like a bell every time her knuckles connect and it makes Maggie’s already aching head pound. Maggie watches how with every strike, Kara’s face contorts more.

“Kara,” she says softly.

Kara shows no indication of having heard her and if it were anyone else, Maggie would try again a little louder. But she knows Kara can hear her and if she’s being ignored it’s entirely understandable. Still, even though Maggie knows Kara isn’t hurting herself as she slams her fists into one of the hardest metals on earth, the look on Kara’s face worries her.

“Kara,” she says a little more loudly.

Kara immediately goes entirely still. Her hands drop to her sides and she stares at the mangled piece of metal in front of her as if she could burn a hole through it. Maggie remembers with a jolt that, yeah, Kara probably could if she wanted to.

“I’m angry at her,” Kara says. “Is that messed up?”

Maggie doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t tell Kara that she understands, that she’s angry too and that she feels just as guilty about it.

“She… she’s so reckless sometimes. And I know, I know, I can be too, but Alex is… she’s human and she’s fragile and… It’s not her fault they kidnapped her, but I feel that if she’d been more cautious, more prepared then… I don’t know. And, I’m angry that she’s… she’s leaving me.”

“She’s not leaving,” Maggie says forcefully because she needs to believe it as much as Kara does. “She’s strong. Stronger than me, stronger than anyone I know.”

“She’s human,” Kara shoots back.

And that’s something that Maggie can’t argue with because in the face of aliens and superheroes, Alex is just… human. A strong human, the strongest maybe, but there are some things that she cannot fight. But Maggie knows that if she lets herself follow that train of thought down to completion, down to Alex with a quiet heart and cold, pale skin, she won’t make it through the night.

“She’s strong.”

For a second they end up just staring at one another, Kara’s expression torn and fractured with grief and fear. Her whole body trembles so hard, Maggie thinks she might fall apart entirely. Maggie steps forward and pulls Kara into a hug, and stumbles a little as Kara immediately goes limp under her touch.

“She’ll be okay,” Maggie whispers. “I promise.”

 

* * *

 

Kara carries one of the beds from another room in the med bay to the hall outside of Alex’s room and promptly falls asleep. It’s a restless, uneasy sleep, but she doesn’t seem to be having the same nightmares as before. Maggie sits on the end of the bed, leaning against the wall and staring at the door to Alex’s room with unwavering intensity. Except she’s still tired and she finds herself nodding off against her will.

She’s almost completely gone when a hoarse whisper brings her back.

“Maggie,” Kara says, eyeing her blearily.

“Yeah?” Maggie asks.

“Come here,” Kara says. “Lie down.”

She softly pats the very small open space next to her. The hospital bed is barely large enough for one person but Maggie is too tired to care. She curls up next to Kara and lets Kara slips her arm over her waist.

“I won’t let you fall,” Kara mutters, clearly halfway to being asleep again.

Maggie nods and closes her eyes. Kara’s arm tightens around her waist and despite everything Maggie can’t help but feel a little bit safer.

 

* * *

 

They get shaken awake twelve hours later by Dr. Hamilton, who looks exhausted but somewhat pleased.

“She’s awake,” she says softly. “She’s going to be okay.”

Kara is up and off the bed before Maggie can fully compute what is going on. She blinks herself to consciousness slowly and stares through the door Kara left open behind her. It takes her a second, but she clambers off the bed and follows Kara in, sliding onto the bed in the space on Alex’s other side.

At first, Alex practically ignores her, though she brushes her thumb over Maggie’s knuckles when Maggie takes her hand. Instead, Alex watches Kara, muttering soft questions at her, asking how she’s been and what she missed. Kara doesn’t look away, bringing her hand up to trace Alex’s jawline softly.

“You’re okay though?” Alex asks.

“Yeah,” Kara replies softly. “I’m okay.”

Alex nods, though she seems skeptical. She tugs lightly at Kara’s hair until she smiles and Alex manages to smile back.

“I love you,” Alex says.

“I love you more,” Kara replies and Alex scoffs.

“Impossible.”

Kara grins and Maggie watches as some tension flows out of Alex’s shoulders.

“I can’t believe you just woke up and you’re already being annoying,” Kara says and Alex rolls her eyes.

“Excuse you… I just woke up, you’re not allowed to be mean to me.”

They mock glare at each other for a second before Kara cocks her head and frowns. Alex, who knows her sister better than anyone, doesn't even have to ask.

“Go, Kara,” Alex says, gently.

“But-“

“Go,” Alex says. “I’ll be here when you get back. Promise.”

Kara frowns and seems to consider Alex’s words carefully before nodding slowly and standing up. She looks at Maggie with an uncharacteristically serious expression.

“Look after her,” she says. “I’ll be right back.”

Maggie can’t think to do anything else but nod but it ends up not mattering because Kara is gone before she can blink. She ends up just staring at the space that Kara had previously occupied blankly until Alex squeezes her hand.

“Hey,” Alex says, “where are you?”

Maggie looks down at her. Alex’s skin is still a little pink and she looks exhausted, but she’s alive and her brown eyes are bright as she looks up at her. The relief that floods into Maggie’s system combined with the overwhelming exhaustion of the last few days sets her off crying instantly. She leans forward so that she can pull Alex into an awkward hug, impeded by the bed under her. Still, she’s able to tuck her face into Alex’s neck and breathe her in.

From where she lies, Maggie can feel the rise and fall of Alex’s chest and can hear her heart beating steady and loud in her chest. It’s intensely comforting. Alex’s hand finds it’s way to her hair, running her fingers gently against her scalp.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Alex says. “I’m okay.”

Maggie nods. She’s crying too hard right now to explain that these tears are just left overs. That she’d held them in for the last few days as she’d willed herself to hold herself together while Kara was falling apart. That she was afraid of crying because that was admitting defeat. She wants to explain that she’s just relieved, the kind of relief that makes her chest hurt.

She hates that she’s crying on Alex when Alex is the one who had almost died. Alex is comforting her and it should be the other way around, but now that the tears have started, Maggie can’t get them to stop.

Alex tugs at her shoulders lightly until Maggie clambers onto the bed next to her, lying down properly. Then she winds her arms around her, holding her as tightly as she can in her weakened state. She lets Maggie cry, whispering soft reassurances in her ear until her sobs subside into quiet whimpers and then into silence.

“Thank you,” Alex mutters eventually, after Maggie has calmed down.

“What for?” Maggie asks, entirely bewildered.

“For taking care of Kara,” Alex says. Her voice is trailing off into a murmur and Maggie knows she must be exhausted. “I know you did. I know you kept an eye on her. And she… she needs people.”

“It’s fine… I didn’t… I’m happy to help.”

“Maggie,” Alex says, almost sternly, though her eyes are drifting closed. “You are the best person. I love you.”

“I love you too, Alex. So much.”

Alex hums and her body relaxes next to Maggie as she drifts back to sleep.


End file.
